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Where I Am at the End of 2013
I wanted to throw some thoughts out there and let you know where I am.
I'm here... yeah, right here. I haven't went anywhere really, but I've hit a slow spot. A rut in the road. It happens and it has.
About a month ago I had my first photo shoot with a family that wasn't my own. I went in expecting to come out with 5 good shots. Perfect shots. Those shots that you look at and think that you're standing right there with them. You know what I mean. That was my plan, that was my goal.
The location wasn't excellent, and totally unfamiliar to me. I showed up early enough to get s few locations in my mind of where I wanted to try to shoot. The light was horrible, and getting worse by the second but I had no choice but to roll with it. At least that's how I felt. I like to shoot in natural light and that's what I focused on. Did I bring a speedlite? I sure did, but it was requested that I shoot with natural light anyway. Fine, not that big of a deal. "I shoot with a 6D so it does really well in low light", I thought. High ISO here I come - fingers crossed for getting rid of any noise in post. Ugh. *click*
I felt confident in my ability with the camera but uneasy with my people skills. I used to be the life of a party but have seemed to become a recluse in my recent years. I'm not sure what happened. It seemed to severely decline once I left the military.
All in all the family was great and very understanding. They went in knowing fully that it was my first photo session and they were experienced at taking family photos as well. As long as we could get their youngest to slow down, then we rolled with it. You can't pose a 2 year old... I have a 2 year old tricycle motor... trust me.
An hour and a half and six hundred and one photos later (601, mhmm) I ended up with 42 shots that I presented to the family.
I've had better days, but I've had worse. I felt like I captured some photos that they would enjoy.
The worst part about the whole situation is that I didn't want to give up.... I wanted to get back out there and shoot some more. It's November, and now the season for outdoor portraits is over. That day eats at me because even though I produced a few worthy (at least in my eyes) photographs, I still feel like I didn't do what I set out to do. The family hasn't purchased any of the photos and that's ok. Honestly, it is. She even told me going into this that she wasn't sure if she would but was willing to help with the photo session, but at least buying 1 would've made me feel a little better.
I'm not worried about the money, per se, but everyone needs their own means of validation in one form or another. I guess this was mine.
Here are a few of the photos from that day. Like I said, things for me right now are slow. I haven't been out to shoot landscapes or anything for a while. Too busy with non-photography things. I need to recharge and refocus.
PS. No not all the photos that I presented were in black and white, but these are just some of my favorites from that day, which happen to be in black and white.
Keep at it, starting a business takes time, it'll happen, one day at a time!
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